Back to the Basics

"When difficult things occur in our lives, what is our immediate response? Is it confusion or doubt or spiritual withdrawal? Is it a blow to our faith? Do we blame God or others for our circumstances? Or is our first response to remember who we are—that we are children of a loving God? Is that coupled with an absolute trust that He allows some earthly suffering because He knows it will bless us, like a refiner’s fire, to become like Him and to gain our eternal inheritance?" - Elder Donald L. Hallstrom

As I've lacked uninterrupted access to a keyboard, I have subsequently stopped updating my blog. Not sharing my thoughts is like carrying rocks in a basket. All of these things add up and I feel my basket will burst if I don't share. So, I'm typing on my phone, a thing I hate to do. Wish me luck.

If I could ever sum up all of my experiences with anxiety and conversations in the last month and a half, the quote above might capture the most oft asked question to myself. Do I trust my Father?

Now, I don't want anyone to assume that this question means, we don't have enough faith, or that anxiety and depression simply are a matter of faith. Please don't shame yourself for these things. I do not suggest, nor will I ever, that we simply can choose our way out of this with one giant leap of faith. I don't believe that. I believe that our minds are intricate and delicate yet just like the intricate muscles of our hands, we can learn to exercise things that will reshape our thinking and outlook.

The reason I bring trust into the conversation is this: I know that there is a stigma out there about therapy and therapists. I had a good experience on my first go round, so I should have no reason to doubt I can have it again, right? Well, I do doubt. So my question is, would I rather continue all of my life experiences in anxiety or fear? Or do I trust that the Lord is going to provide people in my life who are capable of teaching me a new approach?

I have good friends that I have spoken with in the last month and I plan to continue to seek them out. But for all the testimony and buoying up, I still feel the void of professional help. What I mean is, I recognize and value the knowledge and mapping a social worker can provide. I have yet to meet a clinician that only listens and provides no guidance. Though I have only seen a therapist once, I have worked with a few and my sister is a Social Worker.

It is my belief that their apt for compassion and learning about the workings of mental health are gifts, talents, both innate to them and given by God. So, do I trust Him that I am worth the investment? I am able to learn and change my understanding about anxieties. I am capable of being assertive and finding resources to guide me as I step forward in faith. Part of the resources I need is to speak out all of my cluttered thoughts and have them labeled with an approach to process it all.

So, I'm stepping up to the challenge and will use all of my resources. I'm looking to start therapy again this week. What resources have you used and how have they shaped your outlook?

Con mucho amor,
~Anna K. Morales