I deep breathe myself into a calm and relaxed state before bed. It's something I've been focusing more on this week to try reverse insomnia. I was visiting family last week and discussed with my sister not being able to sleep. At that time I resolved to get into a bedtime routine.
1- My kids also don't sleep enough.
2- I've got a kindergartner on my hands starting Monday, I need her to wake up rested and happy.
3- I feel I need a chance to wind down before getting in bed and lights out.
My kids usually hang out around me, on top of me or very close by until they drift off and go to sleep, then they magically appear in their beds, heehee. I can't wait for them to figure out that the magic is mommy carrying them to bed. Then again, if I stay on this course maybe they won't need to appear in their beds. Monday night was the first night of really sticking to the routine, on my part. The kids listened but with hesitancy. Last night was awesome. Dinner, free time, park or reading, bath, brush teeth, song/prayers, bed. My oldest longs for the structure and is settling into this very gracefully. My second is not about this at all. She longs for touching and holding and sleeping on me every night. But she sleeps in her toddler bed in my room so I tuck her in then start folding laundry or tidying up so she sees me. Three nights in a row she has fallen asleep by or before 9:00 pm! That's a 2-3 hour difference from usual! I think my sister helped them cause she tucked them in on our visit and just kept sending them back to bed if they got up. They aren't fighting it as much as times past when I tried to implement a bed time.
I have felt really good about doing this. It's better for all of our health. We're still working on the early rising time of, ahem, 7:00 am. 6:30 for me. Today they actually were a bit groggy but soon were giggling and playing together.
For many this all might sound like a simple mommy discipline issue. In part, but really anxiety and depression keep you from doing even the simplest of things. I have often felt like a failure because one part of bed time went awry and it would literally unhinge me. So many nights my husband and kids were asking me not to yell at everyone that I took it to the other extreme and didn't expect anything of anyone.
'Bed time' was non-existent. My kids weren't falling asleep in a calm state, they would just chat and move or cry until they completely zoned out. There was nothing peaceful about it. The whole thing just sounded like cries for help. But the thoughts in my mind were that if I tried I would just end up screaming and that would be worse than unrest.
Anxiety just lies to you, repeating one undesirable option, one possible outcome, over and over again until you believe it is the only thing, that it is truth.
Taking time to deep breathe purposefully each morning and night has really given me scope. It also has become a calm time, if I am breathing and my kids need me, instead of yelling the girls have just come up and quietly said, "Mami."
So to recap, breathe, sleep, and believe that you can author new outcomes in your home.
Con mucho amor,
~Anna K. Morales
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