She gave examples of times she tried to teach her children by word but they caught her teaching differently by example. In recognizing this, she would address it with her kids.
I've tried to implement some of what I heard, even though my kids are small, or maybe Because they are small.
I know that I am imperfect, but why do I think my parenting should be perfect?
One thing that I have noticed about my responses to my children's errors is they are based in shame. It doesn't even have to be what I say, usually "Sofia!" or "Lilly!" But the weight of the shame I spread on those names is palpable. When I realized it I decided that I could say something more like, "Uh-oh, could you keep the food on the table?" Or "This is something we would need to clean up right away please." My mom has always told me to teach with positive phrasing, I just barely am grasping that concept though.
Well, I decided to change it, but boy is that hard. Right now I'm onto "SOFia...!" Backtrack..."Uh-oh. will you please not draw there?" So it's coming as a tag-a-long to my original, less shame sounding, response.
The fact of the matter is that we are all learning. I do not have to shame myself for not knowing how to do something. Rather, I can recognize that results aren't what I would like them to be and research. As I implement and learn, I cannot walk away because I'm not perfect at it yet. To finish I want to leave you with a meme that I saw, simple but profound.
Con mucho amor,
Anna K. Morales
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